Ok some of you know that I decided to do a two question study. Well the two questions I picked came to my on the same night. The first one was "If you had 12 hours where nothing was illegal what would you do ?" Well I kinda post this on my FB page and got an interesting answer and that answer is what prompted me to do the study. The second question was "What should you not do Nude?" It was a question which popped up soon after I saw the other and thought it would be good to throw in.
Ok Both questions gave me some interesting answers! As I looked upon question one's answers I realized that If aloud the majority of people would commit some major crimes. I pulled 19 People 8 males 11 females. I tried to make the numbers closer but did not get enough people to respond and didn't want to wait any longer to go over my results. The age range of the people asked was from 18 to 63. Some people only gave me one crime answers some gave me more than one. I had one person give me a broad answer so what I did in my counting was add one to every crime I had listed that fit that answer. Here are the crimes and their counts.
Murder 6
Robbery 7
Torture 2
Kidnap 3
Assault 2
Vandalism 2
Prostitution 2
Polygamy 2
Vehicle 3
Nudity 2
Open container 2
One might say that Morals have gone out the window. Well Most of the murders where fraze as killing someone who had done them wrong. Actually most of the crimes where to get back at someone. Even one of the robberies was fraze as "Big Bank Embezzlement." So as you see a lot of self interest here. But I had one (and to be honest the one that made me want to do this study) which was "Kill all the pedophiles." I was taken back by the answer to be honest , to me it was a pleasant relief to see that someone was thinking of others in such a way. I also had one that said "Pray because what I would do would be too shocking" I really want to know what would be too shocking but as I did not ask everyone any other questions or to elaborate on their answers I felt I shouldn't do to one and not the other ( but I still want to know ) . Most answered with what I would call one time answers as in the crime is done and it is over. I did have a couple of answers which I feel the people where not thinking of the time limit and would have to account for their crimes after the 12 hours were up.
Now question two was more of a fun question and it was. But I also realized that some of us have tunnel vision with somethings like this question. I did not break it down like I did with the first one but saw that most of us ( yes us I answered both questions myself before I asked anyone else them ) would give a simple one subject answer and not think it thru as much. I had about 5 people state Run outside which in my books covers everything you should not do that would involve the public, would they be more daring inside their own homes? I don't know because I did not ask any follow up questions. Most everyone else put some interesting answers. I am going to post the answers to the questions now I hope everyone enjoys this post , and thank you again to those who volunteered .
Question One;
Pray because what I would do would be too shocking.
Drive car w/o License.
Marry a bunch of girls different ages (reason) So I would always have a young wife.
Kill all the pedophiles.
Steal a nice truck and have some fun off roading on the road.
Kill Ex
Murder everyone who has done me wrong.
Hire a Hooker.
Destroy some one's property that pissed me off.
Kidnap a few People and hire someone to torture them.
Kill a few people and rob a bank.
Murder/ Rob a bank
Walk around anywhere I want to with my Beer.
Everything but rape, murder , harm children.
Beat the hell out of some people.
Take kids/grand kids and kill everyone who ever hurt me and them.
Steal a souped up car , speed down the highway at max speed getting the best rush ever. Pick up friends, rob a bank and shop like crazy.
Big Bank Embezzlement.
Laying by the pool naked.
Speed when driving.
Question Two;
Run outside.
Walk around public nude.
Nothing that will dose or could have family witness.
Cook hot dogs on the grill.
Chainsaw.
Go to a party.
Welding.
Anywhere near poison ivy or anything poisonous that may bite or cause a rash.
Go to work.
Deep fry foods.
Jog.
Down the street.
Anything that ain't sexual.
Eat.
Have no clue.
No nude beach.
Walk down main street.
Go Shopping.
I hope everyone has as much fun with this study as I did and found it just as interesting too.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
What Do I Want ?
Ok I am sitting here and doing a lot ( and I mean a lot ) of thinking. After going over where I am now I started to think , what do I want ? Dam good question huh lol I am sure it would be the first one asked to me from a lot of people .
Hmmm, well first thing would be what I lost some time ago and that is the feeling of passion. I am a very emotional person and as I have stated before in some of my blogs music is a huge part of my life I feed off of it like a starving person. Well part of that is also touch. Not just a hand holding thing either, tho that is awesome in it's own right. But the kind that goes with passion itself. To look into one's eyes and see the wanting feeling and then the pleasure in their eyes by being touched, kissed and embraced. I haven't even talked about sex lol, but of course that is there . The eyes are the soul of a person and to see into ones soul when doing anything and knowing they feel the same way you do is an awesome thing to go thru .
I could make out for long periods of time and just look deep into one's eyes and melt. That is the unltimate feeling to me, eyes of passion. Not eyes that are far away or seem to be doing anything because they believe it is part of their "duty". The wanton is the best. I could probably write a whole book on this but I think I should continue before I drive myself crazy ( opps too late already there lol ).
So besides that what do I want ? Energy ! Yes energy to be able to get up in the morning and say "ok World ! Here I come ! " but atlast I have none . Why ? I am still working on that I think even tho I might feel I am not depressed I probably am and need to get out of the funk that stays with me all the time. I know that passion can give me energy and make me want to be up everyday but I guess for now I have to work around that lol. I see I lol a lot, well I guess that is my defenses, if I can cry ( which I can't) I might as well laugh. I am sure a lot of people agree that energy is very important.
I want something to look forward to . I am sure that having this would give me energy as well. But right now I really don't look forward to much but sleeping. I know the signs of depression, and yes I have them. Maybe by writing this it will help a little who knows. I have thought even having someone to look forward to on the internet might help? I need laughs , understanding, good conversations lol . I know some are going to say what is up with your wife. Well ...... she has her world and I have mine I guess, we have tried to make time and I have waited for her but things slip her mind and I am not one to keep asking , I feel after 29 yrs I should not have to ask all the time. She loves me in her own way I guess , and I guess that is not one of them. Things are so complicated I guess a person would have to be me in my shoes.
Ok last thing I guess is excitement ! I want my heart to race, I want to be able to say "YES!" in my mind before during and afterward. Someone once said Variety is the spice of life, well bring it on! Yeah I could just say what the hell and go out and try to find it, and I might one of these days soon. But now a days you have to be so careful not to offend people because if you do the wrong thing( or at least in their eyes) then you get labeled, and I am tired of being labeled. I have been labeled a bad person and don't really know why.
How you ask? I will tell you . At some point in time my father took it upon himself to tell family members ( how many I do not know) that I did something bad to my wife ( what I do not know) I never knew this until after he had passed away and my aunt came up to me and said " You better be treating your wife better!" I looked at her and asked why she said that, and I get " all I am going to say is that your father told me how you were treating her and how good of a wife you have and I better not hear of you treating her like that anymore." ( anymore ? like I knew what she was talking about ) To make matters worse when my mother passed at her funeral my aunt turns to my son and says " Is your father treating your mother good ?" which he of course says yes, she then says "he better." This is Ten years after my father had pasted away. So what do I get ? I get form my son "Dad did someone in the family treat their wife bad ?" to which I have to explain to him how I was approached by my aunt. Even from the grave my father gets to attack me :-/ ( yes I put that face there )
So there you have it I guess I was in a writing mode tonight, thanks you for reading and I hope you understand. I am already thinking of processes to go thru to get where I want to be but some I know might be long and slow but I guess I have no way but up to go from here.
Hmmm, well first thing would be what I lost some time ago and that is the feeling of passion. I am a very emotional person and as I have stated before in some of my blogs music is a huge part of my life I feed off of it like a starving person. Well part of that is also touch. Not just a hand holding thing either, tho that is awesome in it's own right. But the kind that goes with passion itself. To look into one's eyes and see the wanting feeling and then the pleasure in their eyes by being touched, kissed and embraced. I haven't even talked about sex lol, but of course that is there . The eyes are the soul of a person and to see into ones soul when doing anything and knowing they feel the same way you do is an awesome thing to go thru .
I could make out for long periods of time and just look deep into one's eyes and melt. That is the unltimate feeling to me, eyes of passion. Not eyes that are far away or seem to be doing anything because they believe it is part of their "duty". The wanton is the best. I could probably write a whole book on this but I think I should continue before I drive myself crazy ( opps too late already there lol ).
So besides that what do I want ? Energy ! Yes energy to be able to get up in the morning and say "ok World ! Here I come ! " but atlast I have none . Why ? I am still working on that I think even tho I might feel I am not depressed I probably am and need to get out of the funk that stays with me all the time. I know that passion can give me energy and make me want to be up everyday but I guess for now I have to work around that lol. I see I lol a lot, well I guess that is my defenses, if I can cry ( which I can't) I might as well laugh. I am sure a lot of people agree that energy is very important.
I want something to look forward to . I am sure that having this would give me energy as well. But right now I really don't look forward to much but sleeping. I know the signs of depression, and yes I have them. Maybe by writing this it will help a little who knows. I have thought even having someone to look forward to on the internet might help? I need laughs , understanding, good conversations lol . I know some are going to say what is up with your wife. Well ...... she has her world and I have mine I guess, we have tried to make time and I have waited for her but things slip her mind and I am not one to keep asking , I feel after 29 yrs I should not have to ask all the time. She loves me in her own way I guess , and I guess that is not one of them. Things are so complicated I guess a person would have to be me in my shoes.
Ok last thing I guess is excitement ! I want my heart to race, I want to be able to say "YES!" in my mind before during and afterward. Someone once said Variety is the spice of life, well bring it on! Yeah I could just say what the hell and go out and try to find it, and I might one of these days soon. But now a days you have to be so careful not to offend people because if you do the wrong thing( or at least in their eyes) then you get labeled, and I am tired of being labeled. I have been labeled a bad person and don't really know why.
How you ask? I will tell you . At some point in time my father took it upon himself to tell family members ( how many I do not know) that I did something bad to my wife ( what I do not know) I never knew this until after he had passed away and my aunt came up to me and said " You better be treating your wife better!" I looked at her and asked why she said that, and I get " all I am going to say is that your father told me how you were treating her and how good of a wife you have and I better not hear of you treating her like that anymore." ( anymore ? like I knew what she was talking about ) To make matters worse when my mother passed at her funeral my aunt turns to my son and says " Is your father treating your mother good ?" which he of course says yes, she then says "he better." This is Ten years after my father had pasted away. So what do I get ? I get form my son "Dad did someone in the family treat their wife bad ?" to which I have to explain to him how I was approached by my aunt. Even from the grave my father gets to attack me :-/ ( yes I put that face there )
So there you have it I guess I was in a writing mode tonight, thanks you for reading and I hope you understand. I am already thinking of processes to go thru to get where I want to be but some I know might be long and slow but I guess I have no way but up to go from here.
Where am I now ?
Well I guess I have done some soul searching lol ( that is a laugh) and all I can think about is where am I now? Well it might sound like a pity party but here it goes.
For one I am at a cross roads, why well because the woman I am in love with says she is in love with me but does not want any kind of romantic relationship. I am a man and like most men I will sometimes crave sex. Now I know she is being faithful to me because we hardly ever spend any time apart. Hell she works with our kids so she can't even say "Oh I got called into work" and then slip away. So where does that leave me ? Yes with my mind , my computer , but after a while that gets to be boring. We cuddle ( which in it's own right gets frustrating ) So where am I now? left alone with my thoughts and just alone in general. I love her enough not to force the issue and to live in despair I guess ( yeah pity party)
Part two family, well this is or should I say has been an on going thing , I reach out and nothing in return. I have a couple members of my family that I can talk to and sometimes meet up with. But the rest , umm nope . Ok so I have learned to live with that . Funny thing is I have learned to live with that easier than the other . I am greatfull tho to have gotten back in touch with a niece who has been out of my life for a good part of hers. I am thankful that we have a lot in common as well. So I will put my energy into making a strong relationship with her. So where am I now? In the hopes of a new relationship with a lost loved one.
Part three friends, Well I have a few but none that are frequent visitors. I have a coffee buddy who I meet every so often. I best friend who I talk to on FB (everyone knows what FB is right? ) But to say I have a close friend ( much different than a best friend ) I do not . I used , she started out as my wife's friend and became both of ours close best friend. But unfortunately she passed away some time ago and neither of us has had one since. I feel no matter what you need at least one friend to help you get thru life no matter what, and to have a close friend is very important ! One who can understand where you are coming from and wants to be there all the time for you. (of course as long as it does not interfere with their own relationships which should be important too) So where am I now? Still looking for that one in a million again ( ok this would be two in a million lol )
If you have read any of my other blogs then you know the demons I live with, and they are no help to me in this situation I have found myself in. Some my old thoughts have been slowly creeping back into my head. They are the ones which don't harm other but yes could harm me. They are the ones which used to help me not harm others . Oh and also Just as a side note, I am not posting these on FB anymore because well my last blog did cause me to lose a couple of friends, yes even tho I know that if they were true friends they would not have deleted me, but I feel my true friends will find my blogs even if I don't post them there. They will be following me and reading up on my thoughts etc.
Ok to some it up ( being I was getting off subject lol )
Where am I now ?
Alone with my thoughts, my demons, my hopes.
I promise to my friends who read this, I will not disappear. I will give it some thought. and look for my next Blog
Where Do I Go From Here ?
For one I am at a cross roads, why well because the woman I am in love with says she is in love with me but does not want any kind of romantic relationship. I am a man and like most men I will sometimes crave sex. Now I know she is being faithful to me because we hardly ever spend any time apart. Hell she works with our kids so she can't even say "Oh I got called into work" and then slip away. So where does that leave me ? Yes with my mind , my computer , but after a while that gets to be boring. We cuddle ( which in it's own right gets frustrating ) So where am I now? left alone with my thoughts and just alone in general. I love her enough not to force the issue and to live in despair I guess ( yeah pity party)
Part two family, well this is or should I say has been an on going thing , I reach out and nothing in return. I have a couple members of my family that I can talk to and sometimes meet up with. But the rest , umm nope . Ok so I have learned to live with that . Funny thing is I have learned to live with that easier than the other . I am greatfull tho to have gotten back in touch with a niece who has been out of my life for a good part of hers. I am thankful that we have a lot in common as well. So I will put my energy into making a strong relationship with her. So where am I now? In the hopes of a new relationship with a lost loved one.
Part three friends, Well I have a few but none that are frequent visitors. I have a coffee buddy who I meet every so often. I best friend who I talk to on FB (everyone knows what FB is right? ) But to say I have a close friend ( much different than a best friend ) I do not . I used , she started out as my wife's friend and became both of ours close best friend. But unfortunately she passed away some time ago and neither of us has had one since. I feel no matter what you need at least one friend to help you get thru life no matter what, and to have a close friend is very important ! One who can understand where you are coming from and wants to be there all the time for you. (of course as long as it does not interfere with their own relationships which should be important too) So where am I now? Still looking for that one in a million again ( ok this would be two in a million lol )
If you have read any of my other blogs then you know the demons I live with, and they are no help to me in this situation I have found myself in. Some my old thoughts have been slowly creeping back into my head. They are the ones which don't harm other but yes could harm me. They are the ones which used to help me not harm others . Oh and also Just as a side note, I am not posting these on FB anymore because well my last blog did cause me to lose a couple of friends, yes even tho I know that if they were true friends they would not have deleted me, but I feel my true friends will find my blogs even if I don't post them there. They will be following me and reading up on my thoughts etc.
Ok to some it up ( being I was getting off subject lol )
Where am I now ?
Alone with my thoughts, my demons, my hopes.
I promise to my friends who read this, I will not disappear. I will give it some thought. and look for my next Blog
Where Do I Go From Here ?
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